Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples in Louisville, KY
Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)
Bonding, Healthy Attachment, and Attunement to Emotional Needs
Are you struggling with the same pattern within your relationship or marriage? Desiring to feel closer and more connected?
Is the pattern creating frustration and resentment? Has this pattern led to withdrawal, minimizing your needs, and feeling hopeless toward improving your connection? This often leads to trying new strategies of communication, sharing self-help videos with each other, or even trying couples therapy yet falling back into that same cycle of feeling unseen, unheard, and distant.
You may feel rejected, as if nothing you do is good enough. The growing space you feel between you and your significant other may feel insurmountable. Are you pouring your heart out to your spouse wondering how do they not get it, do they even care, or questioning your own worth? These experiences are symptoms of the underlying root of the matter.
Have you tried other forms of couples counseling or couples therapy? Research indicates that most couples make multiple attempts with different couples therapists before they experience long lasting relief.
What is Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) ?
Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) was created by Dr. Sue Johnson. EFT is an evidenced-based therapeutic orientation demonstrating long lasting relationship improvement. EFT is a type of couples therapy that focuses on bonding, healthy attachment, and the attunement to emotional needs. This video of Dr. Sue Johnson is a great explanation about EFT.
What to expect in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) sessions
The key focus is bringing each individual to a safe and regulated head/body space so that they can feel seen and heard. If the nervous system is dysregulated, it is nearly impossible to engage overcome conflict. Communication becomes lost if you or your partner are dysregulated.
We will dive under the continuous cycle that has your relationship stuck. The dance of two nervous systems helps unfold the longing for healthy connection. Each person’s nervous system, view of each other, and view of self are affected by past pain, hurt, and trauma. The tangled connections and defense mechanisms for safety are wrapped up in responses and perceptions that are projected onto each other, leading to that same pattern and dance.
Sessions emphasize identifying what underlying emotion or wound is influencing the nervous system and defense mechanisms to flare into dysregulation. In other words, what happens internally to cause you or your spouse to withdraw, escape, or fight, or explode. The goal is to gain insight into the experience for self and your spouse as a way to bring yourself or spouse back from a downward spiral into pain, numbness, or distress. This targets the unhealthy dance that has locked in that same old pattern of conflict/avoidance. It begins with learning and experiencing what happens internally to yourself or your spouse.
What Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) is NOT
EFT is not a type of couples therapy that gives advice. The role of an EFT therapist is bringing the underlying emotions, attachment injuries, and desire for safety to the surface so that the couple can identify and overcome the unhealthy pattern that most become stuck within. For most couples, it is not about solving their problems but instead, it is about being seen, heard, and safe with their partner. Once you feel safe and understood by your partner, you both can solve those problems that are embedded within the pattern. It is the EFT therapist’s role to help identify and make evident the underlying experience and then help bring the couple toward a safe, secure attachment.
EFT is not a type of couples therapy that uses bargaining or compromising. Rather, it emphasizes bonding and attachment. When a person is attuned to the other, empathy and the desire to meet those needs comes as natural as a parent to a child.
EFT is not a type of couples therapy where the couple sits back in a passive manner waiting for exercises, tips, or worksheets. The therapist helps unfold and guide the emotion and safety, identifying the underlying influence of pain and trauma, to a place where each person can feel regulated, seen, and heard. Communication and problem-solving can occur when each is regulated and attuned to each other.
Responses from couples
“Dr. McCurry has been a phenomenal couples therapist for my husband and I. He is professional, understanding, has a good sense of humor, and most importantly, it is very evident that Dr. McCurry cares a lot about his patients. He provides a calm and safe environment, and I would highly recommend his services to anyone!”
“Dr. McCurry was instrumental in saving my marriage!!! We use the tools he provided to maintain our relationship. We would highly recommend him for any relationship troubles! We are very thankful for him and his expertise. He is an overall great person!!”
“We are so grateful for the support and guidance we’ve received. Dr. Ford creates such a safe, comfortable space where both of us feel truly heard and understood. The tools and strategies we’ve learned have helped us strengthen our communication and deepen our connection. We leave every session feeling hopeful, encouraged, and more confident in our relationship. Highly recommend to any couple looking to grow together!”
“After 32 years of a marriage that fluctuated between good and bad, my wife and I decided to try counseling when "bad" became "I think we'd be happier apart!" Through Dr McCurry's questioning, we were each able to discover for ourselves how our actions and words were interpreted by the other. The result is that we're now happier than ever. THANKS DOC!!!”